Wonderful energy in this room. This is-- oh, I'm just going to get right to it. OK. Because something crazy is happening.
No one has won the Mega Millions lottery yet. It's up to $1.6 billion. $.16 billion. With a B. As in big and bonkers and bananas and Beyonce and bootylicious and-- [LAUGHTER] I'm just thinking of words with a B now. But the lottery director is calling it uncharted territory. I'm calling it holy crap. I want to win. $1.6 billion. So before you start shopping for the yachts and getting excited about everything, because I'm sure you've all bought tickets. The odds of winning are 302 million to one. 302 million. To put that in perspective, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning, giving birth to identical quadruplets while being attacked by a shark at the same time. [LAUGHTER] All of those things check this website. You have a one in 33 million chance of being elected president if you meet the qualifications. And if you do meet the qualifications, please run. Please. Please run. It doesn't take a lot of qualifications. Anyway, $1.6 billion is insane. It's the largest jackpot in history. And if you do win-- you won't-- but if you do-- I mean, you might. But probably not. You won't. I doubt it. Anyway, someone is going to win. But probably not us. Anyway, there are some things that you should know. And you should do right away. First of all, you have to choose between a yearly payment or one big payment. And after taxes, you, well, after taxes it's $905 million. So it's not the $1.6 billion you were hoping for. So anyway, they say if you win-- you won't. But if you do, you're supposed to sign the back of the ticket immediately to claim it. So this is very important. You get yourself a Sharpie, you flip the ticket over, and very, very neatly, you write out E, L, L. E, N. Big D, little e, big Generes. So, and they say if you win, to remain anonymous and stay at your job so your life doesn't drastically change overnight. Although people may be suspicious when you show up to work with those new boobs you always wanted. Greg, did you get new boobs? The next drawing is tonight. You got to be in it to win it. So I went ahead, and I bought a ticket for each one of you.
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